Day 2

So, you know what, there is something about posting your intentions online that helps turn them from idea to reality. Yesterday I went home at 2:30 (yeehaw!) and fiddled around the house and then took a nap with my cats and dog. Go ahead, judge away. I'm childless and have very few responsibilities so I napped for 2.5 hours on a Wednesday afternoon. I live in the lap of luxury, for real, y'all. While I napped it rained, and not a little bit. It poured. When I woke up it was drizzling, but I knew I had to run or risk letting all of my Facebook friends down. So I pulled on a hat, leashed up Stella, popped in my headphones and stepped outside. It wasn't raining  anymore, but it sure was steamy. Stella and I plodded along for a slowwwww mile, but I ran the whole way and feel good about that. Today, will be more of the same, sans nap.

I mentioned a a couple of posts back that Michael and I have been trying to start our family. We are teetering on the edge of going live with our adoption, just waiting on our home study report to be written and approved, which I hope will be done in the next 10ish days. We are also waiting on our Dear Birth Mother letter proof to be approved so we can send it to the printer. We hope to be live by July! We are also trying to have a biological child, which is proving to be almost as daunting as the adoption process. We are in a season in our lives where we have very little control over something that we want very badly. We are both forever in search of positive distractions, Michael has approximately 1 million yard projects and recently bought a broken riding lawn mower off of craigslist for $25, taught himself small motor repair, and got it up and running, I'm super impressed with his skillz! He convinced me to race him since we temporarily have 2 riding lawn mowers in our possession.  I lost, but mostly because this was my first time ever driving a riding mower. And also because throttles. 

I read and cook and do the occasional craft project, but I don't have any major hobbies or projects that I can use as an outlet for the frustration and disappointment that have accompanied out attempts to grow our family. I'm hoping that running will be the perfect distraction from the emotional roller coaster we are on. 

Run Streak

Hi, my name is Lauren and I am a flake. I am terrible at being consistent and following through with what I say i'm going to do. I am like this with all things, but most especially when it comes to exercise. I want to get back into running, but I also want to avoid all of the pain and discomfort that comes with getting back into running. P.S. it doesn't work like that.

Last week I went on a 3 mile trail walk. I intended to run as much as possible, that that ended up being less than 10 minutes total. I recognize that if I want to run better I need to run more and more importantly, I need to run consistently. Monday (Memorial Day) my dear sweet run loving friend, Catherine, sent me a text asking if I was going to the weekly Monday night group run. I lied and said I was out of town-I am a champion I tell you. As an attempt to kick my ass into gear I told her that I was thinking of challenging myself to a run streak (running at least one mile every day) from Memorial Day to July 4. She said she would join me and all of the good intentions were in place. Well, shocker, I didn't run Monday, I figured I could just as easily streak from Tuesday after Memorial Day to July 5. But, as you recall, my name is Lauren and I am a serial liar flake. I did not run yesterday.  I had to confess my sins to Catherine when she checked in with me yesterday. Being the kind, patient, forgiving human being that she is she agreed I could try again today and suggested posting something to social media to keep me accountable. So here I am. Announcing on social media that I am going to run at least one mile today. And tomorrow. and the next day until July 6. Even though it's hot. Even though I'm slow. Even though I will probably have to walk a bit of each mile. Even though I am a flake, the run streak starts today. damnit!

Whole30, Trying Again

January 5 Michael and I started our first Whole30 adventure. I made a meal plan for the month, prepped food like crazy and jumped in. I LOVED it, I felt amazing, had so much energy, slept like a rock, and lost weight. Michael also loved it! He realized he was super addicted to sugar, did a lot of emotional eating and healed his gut in amazing ways. But, my dirty little secret is that on about day 12 I cheated and had alcohol, and then I drank again on about day 18. After that, I pretty much quit Whole30. Since then I have been eating everything in sight, pizza, fast food, beer, wine, the list goes on. And to be quite honest, as I sit here writing this, I feel like complete crap.
I woke up with a huge zit on my chin this morning, I can't tell you the last time that happened. My stomach hurts, I'm bloated, my face is fat, and something has to change. My New Years resolution was to lose 30 pounds by June 1,  I need to get serious about my diet and exercise if I have a chance in hell of meeting that goal.
My birthday has come and gone, I have had more than my fair share or indulgences, and starting tomorrow I am embarking on my first, full Whole30 adventure. It is easy to focus on all the things that I am giving up, but I am going to try to focus on how horrible all of those foods make me feel, and how good Whole30 makes me feel. That should be motivation enough to stay on track, but for some insane reason it is not enough of a deterrent to keep me away from foods I know I shouldn't eat. Here's to taking it one meal at a time.

The Truth Is

The truth is I am not going to be competing in the body building competition I was training for in March. The truth is I wasn’t really training much at all. There were a LOT of missed workouts, a lot of half assed workouts, and even more cheating on my diet.

The truth is I didn’t train for or run the Athhalf.

The truth is I weigh 25 pounds more than I did this time last year. My clothes are tight and unflattering and I feel self-conscious and terrible in my own skin.

The truth is I haven’t been taking very good care of myself. Too much wine every night of the week, lots of take out food, lots of skipped workouts replaced by hours on the couch with Netflix.

The truth is I’ve had enough. It is time to get my act together. I have a 7 mile “goal race” in February that I’m eyeing, I’m running 3 miles 3 days a week, I’m trying to walk more with Stella each day.

The truth is it is not enough. I have to stop drinking 8 days a week and stop justifying all the junk food.  I just feel so defeated, like I’ll never lose the weight and making little changes won’t add up to anything. I need to remind myself that is not the case. I’m just having a hard time staying motivated and on track. But I’ve seen the light, reached the tipping point, and am trying to get back on the horse. It is time to try harder.

Weekend Goals

Last night we me Ms. Frances at Hendershots for the final night at their current location before moving. Yay for being spontaneous and going out on a weeknight!

This weekend we will be staying in town. I am so excited. It is only the second weekend we’ve had in town in 8 weeks.  I have already mentally filled all of our time with chores, errands, and summer activities but all I really want is to relax. Whyyyyy do I always try to cram so much in….I am telling myself that as long as I go berry picking, buy tomatoes, and go to the swimming hole nothing else really matters.

Then 2 days of work next week, and looooooong Third of July weekend. Yahoo!

I am super proud of my runs this week. I am training for a Fall half marathon and following a mix of 2 training plans. One plan recommended being able to run 3 miles comfortably 3 times a week prior to starting the plan. So I set that goal for myself. I am happy to say that so far this week I have run 3 miles twice at a slow but comfortable pace-especially considering I am running in heat and humidity. I am too stubborn (read: lazy) to get out of bed and run before work so I have been running at 5:00pm, not the coolest part of the day. It is worth mentioning that I am actually looking forward to my runs (I KNOW! I am as shocked as you are). This morning I mixed up my training time and went to the gym 2 hours before I was supposed to meet with Jody so he was with another client (duh) luckily, Michael was able to train me.

 Shocking fact #1 before I knew Michael was going to be able to train me I had the thought “no big deal, I will just jump on the treadmill, Yay!”

 Shocking fact #2 I enjoyed training with Michael and was not cranky or wanting to kill him. Ahhh love.

I plan to get my third run in this weekend. So I guess my weekend goals are:

Buy fresh juicy yummy summer tomatoes

Berry picking/See Carrie and Patrick

Waterfall/See Frances and Zach

Run

Relax and love on Michael

See how I refrained from writing clean house, return things, go to wal mart, grocery shop, food prep blah blah blah. I am prioritizing my summer fun and relaxation. And using that as an excuse to slack in areas of my life that clearly aren’t as fun or rewarding :)

Cheers to the weekend!