Day 2

So, you know what, there is something about posting your intentions online that helps turn them from idea to reality. Yesterday I went home at 2:30 (yeehaw!) and fiddled around the house and then took a nap with my cats and dog. Go ahead, judge away. I'm childless and have very few responsibilities so I napped for 2.5 hours on a Wednesday afternoon. I live in the lap of luxury, for real, y'all. While I napped it rained, and not a little bit. It poured. When I woke up it was drizzling, but I knew I had to run or risk letting all of my Facebook friends down. So I pulled on a hat, leashed up Stella, popped in my headphones and stepped outside. It wasn't raining  anymore, but it sure was steamy. Stella and I plodded along for a slowwwww mile, but I ran the whole way and feel good about that. Today, will be more of the same, sans nap.

I mentioned a a couple of posts back that Michael and I have been trying to start our family. We are teetering on the edge of going live with our adoption, just waiting on our home study report to be written and approved, which I hope will be done in the next 10ish days. We are also waiting on our Dear Birth Mother letter proof to be approved so we can send it to the printer. We hope to be live by July! We are also trying to have a biological child, which is proving to be almost as daunting as the adoption process. We are in a season in our lives where we have very little control over something that we want very badly. We are both forever in search of positive distractions, Michael has approximately 1 million yard projects and recently bought a broken riding lawn mower off of craigslist for $25, taught himself small motor repair, and got it up and running, I'm super impressed with his skillz! He convinced me to race him since we temporarily have 2 riding lawn mowers in our possession.  I lost, but mostly because this was my first time ever driving a riding mower. And also because throttles. 

I read and cook and do the occasional craft project, but I don't have any major hobbies or projects that I can use as an outlet for the frustration and disappointment that have accompanied out attempts to grow our family. I'm hoping that running will be the perfect distraction from the emotional roller coaster we are on. 

Run Streak

Hi, my name is Lauren and I am a flake. I am terrible at being consistent and following through with what I say i'm going to do. I am like this with all things, but most especially when it comes to exercise. I want to get back into running, but I also want to avoid all of the pain and discomfort that comes with getting back into running. P.S. it doesn't work like that.

Last week I went on a 3 mile trail walk. I intended to run as much as possible, that that ended up being less than 10 minutes total. I recognize that if I want to run better I need to run more and more importantly, I need to run consistently. Monday (Memorial Day) my dear sweet run loving friend, Catherine, sent me a text asking if I was going to the weekly Monday night group run. I lied and said I was out of town-I am a champion I tell you. As an attempt to kick my ass into gear I told her that I was thinking of challenging myself to a run streak (running at least one mile every day) from Memorial Day to July 4. She said she would join me and all of the good intentions were in place. Well, shocker, I didn't run Monday, I figured I could just as easily streak from Tuesday after Memorial Day to July 5. But, as you recall, my name is Lauren and I am a serial liar flake. I did not run yesterday.  I had to confess my sins to Catherine when she checked in with me yesterday. Being the kind, patient, forgiving human being that she is she agreed I could try again today and suggested posting something to social media to keep me accountable. So here I am. Announcing on social media that I am going to run at least one mile today. And tomorrow. and the next day until July 6. Even though it's hot. Even though I'm slow. Even though I will probably have to walk a bit of each mile. Even though I am a flake, the run streak starts today. damnit!

Whole30, Trying Again

January 5 Michael and I started our first Whole30 adventure. I made a meal plan for the month, prepped food like crazy and jumped in. I LOVED it, I felt amazing, had so much energy, slept like a rock, and lost weight. Michael also loved it! He realized he was super addicted to sugar, did a lot of emotional eating and healed his gut in amazing ways. But, my dirty little secret is that on about day 12 I cheated and had alcohol, and then I drank again on about day 18. After that, I pretty much quit Whole30. Since then I have been eating everything in sight, pizza, fast food, beer, wine, the list goes on. And to be quite honest, as I sit here writing this, I feel like complete crap.
I woke up with a huge zit on my chin this morning, I can't tell you the last time that happened. My stomach hurts, I'm bloated, my face is fat, and something has to change. My New Years resolution was to lose 30 pounds by June 1,  I need to get serious about my diet and exercise if I have a chance in hell of meeting that goal.
My birthday has come and gone, I have had more than my fair share or indulgences, and starting tomorrow I am embarking on my first, full Whole30 adventure. It is easy to focus on all the things that I am giving up, but I am going to try to focus on how horrible all of those foods make me feel, and how good Whole30 makes me feel. That should be motivation enough to stay on track, but for some insane reason it is not enough of a deterrent to keep me away from foods I know I shouldn't eat. Here's to taking it one meal at a time.

Four of My Daily Non-Negoatiables

In an effort to clean up my act and get back in a routine of healthy eating and exercise I have been putting some thoughts into what things I do every day that helps keep The Lauren Brain ticking. I came up with six daily non-negotiables, things I do every day without thinking, I rarely skip them and regret it when I do. In no particular order…

1.  Be positive and spend time with positive people

This time last year I had really embraced my inner Bright Side Bitch and was putting a lot of effort in to reframing negative thoughts with positive ones. I still do this, but a reminder to keep positivity on the front burner never hurts. Additionally, I try to give a wide berth to negative or dramatic people and situations. I have a co-worker who gets so bent out of shape when schedules do not go as planned, details slip through the cracks, and things are not as organized as they could be. Don’t get me wrong, I think those things are irritating, but we work in a small, poorly managed, division of local government, and we work with a lot of strong personalities. I try to keep my head down and let all of the irritation roll off of my back. It is small potatoes. I come to work, get the things I can control done, get my lunchtime run on, get out the door at 5:00pm. Getting wrapped up in negative thinking and chatter is not something I devote any thought or energy to.

2.  Saying “No” to Stress

I also try to focus on the things I can control. Anger and negativity are no fun to be in or around. A couple of weeks ago my hard drive at work crashed and I lost everything I’d done professionally for the last 3 years. Frustrating-yes. Out of my control-yes. (Well, sort of, I’m not so bright for not backing anything up, but that ship has sailed). Small potatoes-also yes.

3.Morning Coffee

Morning coffee is the warm (or cold, depending on the season) treat that I look forward to each day. I love the ritual of making and drinking coffee on the weekends, I love choosing my favorite real or travel mug to use for the day. And I love what I think is pretty much a placebo affect from sipping it. (I know coffee is caffeine and caffeine gives you that get up and go feeling, but when I miss a day I don’t get a headache, so it is safe to say I don’t neeeeed coffee as much as I like it).

4.Move-it Move-it

Whether it is taking Stella to the park or on a walk, Running Club, lifting or a hike I feel so much better when I intentionally move during the day. Insanely better, happier, less staby, more grateful the list goes on. Movement makes me a better Lauren. Running specifically makes me a much better Lauren, Bishop Park Running Club is helping me get back on that horse.

Bishop Park Running Club

After hemming and hawing for a long time about whether or not it was too weird/gross/inappropriate to use the shower in the girls bathroom in the gymnastics gym downstairs Ben and I decided to go for it. We cleaned up the least scary looking shower stall downstairs, I brought in shampoo, deodorant, and a hair dryer took over a locker and the rest is history! We started the Bishop Park Running Club! It is not much of a club, it is open to anyone who wants to run with us (which so far is no one). We leave from the park at noon every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. We don’t even run together, we just start together, he is smoking fast and I am just trying to go 3 miles and walk as little as possible. We have been going strong for 3 weeks and I have only missed one run!

I love it! It gets me out the door and gets my run out of the way. It is also a great time of day to go, warm enough by noon, and an awesome way to break up the day. Showering in the locker room downstairs is not really as weird or gross as I originally thought-though my threshold for weird and gross are admittedly pretty high.

I hope to continue running club through the winter and spring, until summer camp wreaks havoc on our schedules…

Long Live Bishop Park Running Club!

The Truth Is

The truth is I am not going to be competing in the body building competition I was training for in March. The truth is I wasn’t really training much at all. There were a LOT of missed workouts, a lot of half assed workouts, and even more cheating on my diet.

The truth is I didn’t train for or run the Athhalf.

The truth is I weigh 25 pounds more than I did this time last year. My clothes are tight and unflattering and I feel self-conscious and terrible in my own skin.

The truth is I haven’t been taking very good care of myself. Too much wine every night of the week, lots of take out food, lots of skipped workouts replaced by hours on the couch with Netflix.

The truth is I’ve had enough. It is time to get my act together. I have a 7 mile “goal race” in February that I’m eyeing, I’m running 3 miles 3 days a week, I’m trying to walk more with Stella each day.

The truth is it is not enough. I have to stop drinking 8 days a week and stop justifying all the junk food.  I just feel so defeated, like I’ll never lose the weight and making little changes won’t add up to anything. I need to remind myself that is not the case. I’m just having a hard time staying motivated and on track. But I’ve seen the light, reached the tipping point, and am trying to get back on the horse. It is time to try harder.

AthHalf Training-No More Wine-ing

Half marathon training has resulted in me scaling back my drinking in a drastic way. This time last year I was putting away a bottle of wine on a weeknight like it was nothing. It was embarrassing and over indulgent. I didn’t want to consume the calories, or have to defend my third glass of wine to my husband on a Tuesday, or wake up not feeling my best but night after night I found myself pouring more wine because “why not?” because “it will feel good” because “I will fall asleep easier.” I started to wonder if I need to reevaluate my relationship with alcohol, but avoided doing so because I didn’t want to deal with the possibility that I might need to drastically scale back or cut it out completely.

 It turns out I just needed time, and long term goals that were attainable and important to me. No one asked me to change my relationship with alcohol, I didn’t even ask myself. I also knew that if I did it for someone else (Michael) or made up some arbitrary rule I wouldn’t stick with it. The shift occurred naturally.

I am a sweater. I sweat easily and a lot. I am also a very salty sweater. If my shirt and shorts dry after a run they will be white from salty sweat. My face often has salty white marks on it after a run. That being said, I dehydrate easily. Thankfully, I love water and prioritize drinking it throughout the day. My goal each day is to drink 5 Nalgenes (about a gallon). Being naturally thirsty and adding more miles each week made staying on top of hydration something I had to learn to do. Sometimes I would get behind and end up with a dreaded headache. Adding alcohol to that mix never sounded tempting once I started upping my mileage.

 Friday night is usually a time where I would relax with a couple of drinks, but again, with a long run staring me in the face Saturday morning, drinking more than one drink or at all on Friday became less and less appealing. I still drink on occasion, but the 3 crippling hangovers I’ve had since July have been reminders enough that it is just NOT worth it. I can’t seem to have more than 2 drinks and not be hungover any more. And so I realized, I have no reason to have more than 2 drinks.

I have other bigger, better things going on than a bottle of wine and crying over Greys Anatomy. I want to conquer more miles, feel strong and confident on runs, and give myself the satisfaction that comes with completing a solo long run on a Saturday morning. I also like the way I look in the mirror more and more, and I think the 8 pounds I’ve dropped can be contributed largely to eating real, whole food and cutting out a couple of bottles of wine a week. Yikes.

Cheers!

5 Mile Redemption Run

Michael moved to Augusta last Thursday and I went Friday night to spend the weekend getting him unpacked and ready for school. Saturday morning I had a 5 mile long run on the calendar. Before leaving I mapped out a route in the new neighborhood and made sure it was hilly, I know that the half marathon is going to be hilly and avoiding hills at this point won’t do me any favors. Friday night I drowned a bad day in too much wine, but tried to balance it with water knowing I had a morning run.
Saturday morning I woke up at 4:00 am freaking out about my run “I don’t have my hat, I could only find one bobby pin, it is supposed to rain, should I run in the rain? Will all that wine leave me too dehydrated? What if the route is too hilly…” and on and on to the point that I almost got up and went running then just so I could stop agonizing over it. I went back to sleep, woke up, put my gear on and was out the door at 6:56, I get up earlier to run on Saturdays then I do Monday-Friday for work.
In spite of all of the time I spent worrying about it, this was a great redemption run for me. The week before my Saturday 5 miles beat me down, this week I rocked it. The rain was spitting on me the whole way, so it was cool but humid as hell, it was hilly as crap, and I got lost on my new route. But, it didn't matter. I was a positive self-talk machine, or Bright Side Bitch as Val calls it. I alternated between ignoring the rain and reminding myself that is was cooling me off. I’d never run in rain before, I’d also never gone on a training run while out of town so staying committed to my training plan was a first. I didn't let not having all the gear I wanted, yucky weather, too much wine, or being in a new place stop me. It may seem small, or like a no brainer but Old Lauren would have used all, or even one of those facts as an excuse to blow off my run. Way to go new Lauren!
I got home stretched and wasn't even sore the next day. After this run and the previous 5 miler and felt pretty crappy the rest of the day-not my legs but more dizzy, nauseous stomach ache. I think it might be dehydration, something I will continue to figure out and work on.

Have you ever used positive self talk to motivate or push yourself? This is a new concept for me….

Saturday "Long" Run

I put long in quotation marks because by most standards five miles is not a long run. I am well aware of that fact, but when it is the longest run I do all week it only feels appropriate to label it as such. I’ve been doing my long runs with the Wow! Bootcamp  AthHalf run group. I like the Wow! group run for a lot of reasons: It is motivating to run with a group, they plan out the distance and mark the route for us, parts of the half marathon are covered on the runs so I know what to expect in those areas, they have water stops for us, and it helps keep me accountable. They plan it all; I just have to show up. This week it was a 5 mile run. I knew from looking at the route that was sent out that it was going to be hilly and tough.

I woke up to tummy troubles and hoped it wasn’t a sign of what was to come that morning. The last long run I’d done (4 miles) I didn’t eat before and my stomach growled the last 2 miles. I’d picked up some new bars at the store and decided to try them as breakfast. I have no appetite in the morning; in fact eating makes me nauseas so I tried to be careful. I ate half of a coconut almond Kind bar in the car on the way to the Y. It was so delicious; it tasted like one of those off brand chewy honey oat bars my mom used to buy. It tasted good, but did not make my stomach feel good. When I got to the Y I tried to go in and use the bathroom in the lobby but the building wasn’t open yet. Fail. I was just going to have to deal.

We did some warm up drills, Zoe showed up, and we were off. At the start I told Zoe that I was tight and sore from pushing it the last half mile of my run yesterday (idiot, I knew I had to run again 12 hours later) and that my stomach was bothering me. I told myself that it would all shake out by the time the first mile marker rolled around. I usually feel better after a mile (although I used to hate people who said that) and I was right, kind of. My muscles were looser and my stomach was fine, and then we hit a hill (and another and another ad nauseam for 4 miles). I knew it was coming and thought it was going to kill me. Surprisingly, it didn’t and Zoe and I high fived at the top #nerdalert.

I would like to stop here and explain that I am a slow runner. I know that and I am okay with it. I mean, sure I would like to crank out 8 minute miles like its nothing but I can’t, at least not right now. Maybe someday….So in order to not burnout my slow, steady pace is about 11:00 minute miles (I know, you can walk that fast, blah, blah, Runner Lauren don’t care). After Zoe and I conquered the hill my running app told me that we’d just run a 9:45 mile. We were all “hooray!” and “oops, crap!” at the same time.

Let’s just say shit hit the fan. I felt like I was made of bricks, my right knee was hurting, my left IT band was screaming, I was getting blisters for no apparent reason. We got to the water stop at the 3 mile mark I commented that this was easily the worst run I’d had in 2 months, someone told us that it was 100% humidity. So, that explained some of it, but really it was the perfect storm. I wasn’t logging my weekly miles the way I needed to be to in order to do longer weekend mileage, I didn’t stretch after my run on Friday and pushed too hard, I didn’t sleep well the night before and it was insanely hot and humid for 7:30am.

I often have to remind myself when I don’t want to run on a Wednesday that I will pay for it later. Bottom line: long runs suck a lot less when you get your week day mileage in. And I also have to keep in mind that you have to have bad runs to appreciate the good ones.

When all was said and done the route ended up being 5.42 miles and it hurt and humbled me. I went home and told Michael “that run tried to kill me.” Which it did, but it also motivated me to do better this week; running is a bitch like that.

I now present to you My Running Blog

I often flip flop around about what kind of blog I want this to be. I feel like a faker writing about running because I am not a hardcore runner, but I have been running more and I have thoughts about it and this is my blog, so I'm the boss and I say I write about running.
Last week I wrote about running after work, and I did it. It was the first run i'd been on in 11 days and it went okay. I had to take 2 walking breaks. The first was because the girl I was meeting for dinner called to cancel and I needed to talk to her. The second time was because I was going up a hill and was out of shape. But all in all it was okay. I was proud of myself for going after work, and in the heat. The only major bummer was that my running app did not save the run. This is not really a big deal but I like to be able to look back on my weekly mileage total/pace.
Thursday I lifted weights and called it a day. Friday I had another run to get in. I knew we had plans that evening so I wanted to get my run in before work (ha).  I turned my alarm off for my morning run like I ALWAYS do. Never once have I got up for my morning run. never. Friday was no different. So, I had to go after work and at 3:00pm on Friday it was 90* and felt like 97* so I ended up on the treadmill. I actually had a surprisingly good run. I was able to zone out and just crank out 3 miles. The last .5 I even turned the pace up fairly high and really pushed myself because I was feeling strong and had a lot left in the tank.
Friday night we had Jody and Zoe over for dinner. We had burgers (I had black bean), sweet potato rounds, corn on the cob, and frozen balsamic veggies from Trader Joe's (which were awesome and I bought them again this week). We chatted and listened to country music while I cooked. The night was to celebrate Michael passing all of his nursing school tests and classes so I manned dinner and just wanted him to relax.
Our grill has been on its last legs for a while now, it was a hand me down and has treated us well but it is old and has been well used. One of the burners shoots fire straight out the back of the grill, and last night another one could not be turned to high or low-just one flame level, and the grates are crumbling etc etc we really should just let it rest in peace, but we are stubborn. When I took the burgers off of the grill they were rare so we put them back on. After several more minutes 2 of them were still rare and the other 3 look better. Jody took one for the team and ate the 2 rare burgers. ew.
Later we went out to the cul-de-sac and set off some small fireworks that were leftover from the rainy 4th of July. Yay! Roman Candles! Our neighbors love us...
Then it was early to bed to get up for my "long" run Saturday morning.

Crazy Kid

A friend at work asked me today when Michael was leaving and I told her two weeks from Friday. But I was wrong. He is leaving one week from Friday. That was a hard pill to swallow. I am sad, and find myself missing him already which isn’t helpful but is how I’m feeling. We aren’t spending much quality time together so it’s easy slip into missing someone even when they are sleeping right next to you.

I found a blog that I really like called 40 Days of Dating, it is about 2 friends who date for 40 days and follow certain agreed upon dating rules and blog about it. The 40 days began in March and I got all caught up on reading it last night and freaked out. The blog ended on day 26 or something and I was hooked and wanted to know what happened but couldn’t figure out why they would stop blogging about the project without warning so close to its completion. I even did two Google searches to find out why there was no Day 27-40. Turns out I didn’t read the “About” section closely enough….The couple is releasing one blog entry a day starting July 10, so I am caught up and day 27 will be posted tomorrow. Crisis averted. Sheesh. #nerdalert

After much debate Valerie has confirmed that she wants her bachelorette party at PCB. Hooray!! (I have to practice screaming “Bachelorette WHOOO” in place of “Spring Break WHOOO”) although my body is not hottie I am looking forward to the beach. And I should not mention that I am sad because it means right off the bat I will have to go two weeks without seeing Michael. Nope, not going to mention it.

Plan for tonight:

Leave work, walk to car, put bag in there and DO NOT GET IN (that is the important/hard part)

Put headphones in, resist temptation to get into car, walk away from car

Run 3 miles

Allow self to get into car (finally, jeez)

Drive home, shower change, meet friend for dinner!

This is a big deal for a lot of reasons. 1. I haven’t seen this friend in at least 8 years, possibly more and I’m not really the reconnecting type. 2. I have to go home and then leave again, I do NOT like to leave my house once I get there (I’m a hobbit). 3. Socializing on a week night whooo! Crazy lady over here!

I will probably have to listen to my pump up song a lot to convince myself to run and socialize. What can I say, I’m a wild one.

First days of Summer

Over the weekend we took a trip to one of our favorite weekend getaway spots-camping at Lake Allatoona! You may remember that I got poison ivy there last year....
This weekend, we had friends tag along with us! Jody, Zoe, Allison and John made the trip to the boat. We had a blast on Saturday-swimming, tubing, playing with the dogs, floating and hitting the whiffle ball. It was also the summer solstice and a super moon! Summer is my jam, and you better believe I was pumped!! Everything was so wonderfully summer. Although packing up all of the food and gear and taking care of the boat after a weekend on it is a all a lot of work it makes me so happy. There is nothing better than sleeping under the stars on a summer night, hearing the bullfrogs and crickets, and waking up to a freckled nose from time in the sun. I enjoyed a glorious two and a half hour nap on Sunday and needed a LOT of coffee this morning to face the reality of Monday.
Another bonus to the weekend is that Allison and John introduced me to my new favorite band. Band? DJ might be a better word...damn I'm old... Anywho, its called The White Panda. It's all mashups and very similar to GirlTalk whom I LOVE. Mashups are the best running music-great beats and it switches so often you dont get bored.
I hammered out an awesome 3 mile run today after work to the sweet melodies of White Panda. Then I came home and whipped up a batch of chicken (and chicken less) enchiladas.
Even though I woke up dragging and mourning the loss of the weekend I still managed to show Monday what was up.
Bring it, Tuesday.

Sweet Nothing

Over the past 9 months I have been slowly nurturing a new relationship in my life. I wasn't so sure about it at first, and there were times where I thought it was too hard and wasn't sure I wanted to continue. But now, I can say with certainty that is a healthy relationship that I plan to continue for a long time. A relationship with what you ask? Spin class of course! Did I have you fooled?
I go to spin 2-4 times a week. And I've found as much as I love sweating, pushing myself on the bike, and the nice muscle tone spinning gives my legs, I love my instructor even more. Jessica is the.best. any anytime I take a class from someone else I leave majorly disappointed. In Jessica's classes the workouts are tough and the music is rockin. She lets us request songs to play during our workouts which is SO FUN. (Side note: I'm clearly showing my age here if I think requesting songs in a workout class is a blast.) Requests are awesome because people in the class have such a wide taste in music there is a lot of variety. Also, when MY song comes on I get really pumped up.
So, a couple of weeks ago I requested my new favorite song. I think it might have become one of Jessica's favorite songs too because it finds its way onto her playlists a lot. Jessica almost always ends her class in the same pattern, meaning the last three songs of the class usually go like this: a CLIMB, then a SPRINT and then finally the COOLDOWN. She likes to put my special request new favorite song (hang on, I'll tell you what it is in a minute) as the last sprint, and subsequently the last song, of the class.
Let me just say that the combination of getting to hear my song, wanting to sprint hard, and pushing myself for onemoresongohmygod kills me. It. Kills.Me.
And she did it again this morning. At 5:30am. And I almost puked. So, without further ado, I present THE song
Sweet Nothing By Calvin Harris, featuring Florence Welch from Florence and the Machine



Heaven help you if this ever comes on in your spin class. You have been warned.

Push

It's Tuesday, but man it feels like it should be later in the week! Yesterday my favorite toddler Dynamic Duo H and C had their first gymnastics class. The class is held in my building so I stuck around after work to watch them. H (who has become very attached to me) was super hesitant and nervous, she is the more reserved of the 2. C was jumping up and down, so excited to go out and play. H was unsure, she held my hand while we stood off to the side and watched the other kids stretch. She grew more and more interested and I could tell she wanted to go join the class but was intimidated. Finally, the coaches pulled out a stamp pad and every child who could do a "ta-da" (hands up overhead, standing up straight) could get a stamp. Well, you better believe H wanted a stamp after C got one. And she was off. It was so cute to watch them.
I know that as an adult being in a new, strange situation where things are out of your control can be intimidating. I can say that I often do not put myself into situations like that because it is uncomfortable. I like knowing what to expect and feeling confident that I can do what will be asked of me in any given situation, be it social or work related.
It's silly but watching H take in her new, overwhelming surroundings, muster up some courage, take a deep breath, and then jump in inspired me. She was brave, trusted that is would be a fun experience, put herself out of her comfort zone and challenged herself. When was the last time I did something like that?! Imagine how proud and accomplished I would feel if I forced myself out of my comfort zone. Sounds like just what the doctor ordered. So now, what should I do to push myself? Suggestions welcome.

Needless to say, today I am feeling more inspired than I was yesterday. It is worth mentioning that I exercised this morning, weight lifting session with Jody. Whether I like it or not exercise does positively affect my mood. I know that I'm not saying anything new there, but I often like to pretend that exercise doesn't affect my mood that much. I am quick to remind Michael that I fought my deepest depression when I was training for a half marathon and running regularly. Either way there is no denying my improved mood and brighter outlook today.
So, in an effort to keep my brain away from the dark and twisty places there is a 5:30am spin class on my calendar tomorrow. I will have to push myself to get there, it will be uncomfortable, it will be easier for me to roll over and go back to sleep (or stand on the sidelines like H did) but when its all said and done I will be proud of myself. And that feeling alone is worth setting the alarm at any hour for.

Memorial Day Weekend

Ahhhhh. What a lovely long weekend. Friday night and Saturday we spent time at Michael’s parent’s house in Kennesaw. On Saturday we hit up the 20% off sale at REI and I ended up spending $150! Yikes. But, I got 4 tech tees and a wicking skirt. I really needed the shirts, I am so sick of working out in cotton shirts and just being wet the whole time.
Saturday night I went over to my dads for beer, pizza and baseball. It was nice to see him. We ordered one of the new Artisan Pizzas from Dominos, one of the ones that you can’t change or add to, and it was eh. It wasn’t really a pizza, but more of a flatbread with toppings.

Sunday I went out to Last Resort for a brunch date with our house guest, Hisanthi. I had the special frittata with tomatoes, basil, Italian seasonings and ricotta and a salad. It was awesome! (Apparently this is a food blog now)

Sunday night I went out to Watkinsville for dinner and puppy play date at Carrie and Patrick’s. They celebrated Memorial Day by buying a huge, awesome, new grill that we tried out while the pups played.

At first Munson wasn’t so sure about Stella’s size, but I think they are going to be good buds.

Yesterday I grilled out again, made potato salad and on a whim dipped strawberries in chocolate.

Needless to say, this was a food filled weekend. I ate and drank more than my fair share. It is time to get back on track so, I decided to join the Run Streak Runners World challenge. You commit to running no less than one mile a day, every day beginning Memorial Day and ending July 4th. I started yesterday with a little over a mile with the dog. I stupidly went at 12:30 in the afternoon and it was blazing hot.

Today I am back to the grind, gearing up for my first week of summer camp on Monday.

What did you do this holiday weekend? Did you eat too much like me?

Excuse me, I have to Burpee

I am constantly admiring traits in other people's lives. Their cute house, sweet kiddos, large income, great attitude, organizational skills and on and on. But the thing that I find myself admiring most of all is other's bodies. How flat their stomach is, or how thin or strong, toned, or tubby they look. That intense admiration of what other bodys have that I lack is my primary reason for starting this blog and naming it what I did. The name is to remind me of what I have in my life that I should be enjoying, but also to remind myself that with some effort, those admirable things are attainable for me too!
One a related note, I would consider myself fit. However, I struggle with a lot of self-loathing and doubt when it comes to my body. My primary challenge is managing my eating, cravings and alcohol intake. So, here is my plan to begin tackling those problem areas.

* For the next thirty days I will be participating in the Burpee Challenge hosted by Scott at Your Inner Skinny http://www.yourinnerskinny.ca/
I started this challenge this morning. I chose to begin my challenge at the highest level that Scott recommends for 2 reasons. 1. I like a challenge. 2. I feel like I am a seasoned veteran at burpees between my boot camp, lunch time work out with Russ (he calls it cross fit. It’s not.) and personal training sessions.
So, the way the challenge works is that you do burpees every day for one month, adding one burpee more than you did the day before. This morning I did 15, so tomorrow I will do 16. Honestly, I did not feel great after my 15 this morning. I was fine until number 10, then they got hard, I was SUPER winded and ready to stop. Hard to believe that on June 16th I will be doing 45 of those babies-YIKES!

I also have put a lot of thinking into this next goal.
* For the next 30 days No Booze. Not a drop.
The problem? I’m not ready to commit to it yet. I know I should. I feel 1,000,000,000,000,000 times better when I dont drink. But I know it will not be fun to turn down drinks with friends. Those 30 days will require a little bit more will power than I am willing to put towards it right now. Great- now I sound like an alcoholic. Maybe I will start this challenge today. If not, tomorrow, there is always tomorrow.

What's your vote? Start the no booze challenge today...or tomorrow? Any tips on getting/staying motivated or exercising my will power muscle?